broken hearted

worst day ever...in forever.

got a call this morning that my 32 year old nephew passed away. he leaves behind a wonderful wife and 2 beautiful boys.

he was a party boy - out camping with friends and passed out and aspirated. they could not revive him.

I am devastated.

it's a miracle!

so we finally decided to leave our church and go to a new one and we are happy there. we haven't joined yet but we have the paperwork

my mom got a phone call this evening from a member of our parish and it was announced that the pain in the butt priest is LEAVING and going back to where he came from. We were stunned...but then...not surprised.

where will we go now? probably going to continue at st tom's for now and perhaps back to st. catherine's at some point. st tom's was so welcoming and friendly....we really enjoyed it!

discouraged....?

I don't know if that is the right thing to say but it seems the best word at the moment.

Yesterday I turned 50 and it really was a nice day. Lots of Happy Birthday's on Facebook, a few phone calls and a great dinner with my family and some friends.

I was really hoping for the best gift - a phone call for a job interview. I have 3 places I have applied to and heard NOTHING yet. One I applied several weeks back, one last week and one earlier this week. I still search for a new job but not much is out there that is catching my eye at the moment. It's discouraging.

The last week at work was frustrating for me. My principal told me he was moving me out of my cozy office within the first floor grade office back to a computer lab to supervise it. Really. And I told him I thought it was a demotion, he said it wasn't, but I beg to differ. It IS a demotion. While he can't change my pay, it doesn't change that if I were to stay in that position and move to that lab in the fall, it would be a demotion. So discouraging.

My husband took the car our children share into being looked at because of some issues - it needs new tires - count 4. A new wheel, work on the suspension and other assorted things. To the tune of $1400+. To say nothing for the at least 2 tires I need for my car. More discouraging.

I don't know what do to for money this summer, I want to find something but I hate to find a part time job if one of these full time ones comes my way. UGH

My mom is frustrated - probably because of my sister, and because of things that need to be fixed at her house and now that my son is working all summer at a camp, he isn't around to help. My brother isn't readily available and I certainly don't know what to do. Just plain sad.

Hoping to find some light, encouragement and happy things.....if you see them send them my way please!

ctrl+alt+delete=freedom

that is what my sister currently has on her Facebook status. I only know this because my sister-in-law let me log on on hers to see after my sister deleted me and my mom as friends.

I really don't care that she deleted us. I am not close with her, haven't been since we were kids and don't anticipate it ever again.

my sister is currently gay. sometimes she says she is, sometimes she says she's not. i have no problem with that at all. it is the fact that she gets in to relationships with people too fast too involved and has been screwed every time.

her current relationship is she is "engaged" to this gal. they live together in atlanta with her friend's daughter.

my sister was supposed to come home last fall for thanksgiving, then it was christmas, then it was january, february, march...etc. in fact, her christmas gifts are still here because she was told if she wanted them then she needs to come home. she understood that.

my son is graduating from high school next week and my sister called my mom today and said she wanted to bring her fiancee and her daughter to my son's party. my mom said no.

the party would turn into an "all about her and her friends" in no time. this is my son's time to shine - he has shared a spotlight taken up by his sister for too long. we don't need this circus at the party.

my son feels the same about her attending.

and i just don't feel bad. it is what it is.

moving out of the toxic air

So...it is public knowledge of Jan leaving church. I am so frustrated about this. I think that at the end of the school year we shall be resigning our membership with the church I grew up. Will be checking out the student parish near WMU and the priest who serves that parish grew up at mine.

Until that bully of a priest is gone from St. Catherine's I need to get out. I am tired of homily's that tell me I am bad, a sinner. One of these days I might start believing that. ugh

disillusioned

I am still frustrated about church. or more specific - the priest. I have learned he has fired our youth minister - giving her the "option" of saying she quit, IF she toes the line for the next few weeks (Lifeteen is done in May and picks up again in September). I am NOT supposed to know this - I was told confidentially and if anyone reads this that knows details - please don't share. Not many people know about my blog - I use it to vent my frustrations....

I hope she lets herself be fired - it will make a bigger statement that this head priest is a bully and if you won't play his game to make him look better he will get rid of you.

I worry for the kids who will be so devastated when they find out - including my own kids.

this is hard...and frustrating...irritating.

I have never "not liked" church - but this priest makes it so....UGH

how low can you go

I am still recovering from the flu - this is my 3rd weekend of not feeling well. I am finally back to work but am exhausted, still coughing, get winded easy and just plain tired. This is getting so old. It is depressing and I just want to wake up and be normal. ugh