ctrl+alt+delete=freedom

that is what my sister currently has on her Facebook status. I only know this because my sister-in-law let me log on on hers to see after my sister deleted me and my mom as friends.

I really don't care that she deleted us. I am not close with her, haven't been since we were kids and don't anticipate it ever again.

my sister is currently gay. sometimes she says she is, sometimes she says she's not. i have no problem with that at all. it is the fact that she gets in to relationships with people too fast too involved and has been screwed every time.

her current relationship is she is "engaged" to this gal. they live together in atlanta with her friend's daughter.

my sister was supposed to come home last fall for thanksgiving, then it was christmas, then it was january, february, march...etc. in fact, her christmas gifts are still here because she was told if she wanted them then she needs to come home. she understood that.

my son is graduating from high school next week and my sister called my mom today and said she wanted to bring her fiancee and her daughter to my son's party. my mom said no.

the party would turn into an "all about her and her friends" in no time. this is my son's time to shine - he has shared a spotlight taken up by his sister for too long. we don't need this circus at the party.

my son feels the same about her attending.

and i just don't feel bad. it is what it is.

moving out of the toxic air

So...it is public knowledge of Jan leaving church. I am so frustrated about this. I think that at the end of the school year we shall be resigning our membership with the church I grew up. Will be checking out the student parish near WMU and the priest who serves that parish grew up at mine.

Until that bully of a priest is gone from St. Catherine's I need to get out. I am tired of homily's that tell me I am bad, a sinner. One of these days I might start believing that. ugh

disillusioned

I am still frustrated about church. or more specific - the priest. I have learned he has fired our youth minister - giving her the "option" of saying she quit, IF she toes the line for the next few weeks (Lifeteen is done in May and picks up again in September). I am NOT supposed to know this - I was told confidentially and if anyone reads this that knows details - please don't share. Not many people know about my blog - I use it to vent my frustrations....

I hope she lets herself be fired - it will make a bigger statement that this head priest is a bully and if you won't play his game to make him look better he will get rid of you.

I worry for the kids who will be so devastated when they find out - including my own kids.

this is hard...and frustrating...irritating.

I have never "not liked" church - but this priest makes it so....UGH

how low can you go

I am still recovering from the flu - this is my 3rd weekend of not feeling well. I am finally back to work but am exhausted, still coughing, get winded easy and just plain tired. This is getting so old. It is depressing and I just want to wake up and be normal. ugh

ugh

just ugh.

working in hell

so today I was beginning to think I was working in hell. My co-worker called in sick (which is a rare thing - so I know she was ill).

The morning started out slow but then it was like an explosion. A whiny pain in the butt girl comes down and cries to the AP about something and then she gets to spend the morning in the office until they can investigate her claims. Another kid comes down because he is in big trouble and suspended. Then more kids called down, sent down, a fight at lunch, lying kids, pissed off parents. UGH.

Sometimes I wish I were a drinker....kidding.

Hoping my co-worker is better tomorrow and all these pain in the butt children get their poop in a group.

I cringe at the thought of these kids leading in our future.....

life as I know it....

as life enters this busy holiday season it makes me feel a bit out of control. i am frustrated with the too much i must do and people who say they aren't demanding of my time but don't realize they are.

christmas hasn't been the same since my dad died. it still feels very broken. my brother most likely won't show up or call. i resent his lack of membership in this family. he hasn't called since mother's day and someone asked if we called him. i have emailed and texted him, as has my sister with no response. he is such an ass.

i think my sister is coming home, that will be interesting. she has moved to a new place in atlanta and has avoided telling my mom which will not be pretty. i will get to hear all about it over and over from my mom as i will be the first one to get her venting.

marah will come home about the 20th from school. she is going home with a boyfriend for a few days and then we will meet halfway and pick her up. her growing up is painful - i know it is a part of letting them go but she is so bossy/rude/exasperating when she comes home. makes me feel useless. i have been told this will pass and when she is about 23 all will be better. ugh.

elliott is pushing away as he heads to college in the fall. thankfully he is going to wmu and not mtu. he will be in town although in the dorms next year.

i still struggle with church - or with the head pastor. he is a bully. after a conversation with an old friend today we decided that. i asked her to pray for my sanity as i can't seem to find it at church which is so wrong. it isn't peaceful. i hope someday it is.

i heard that the traditional "children's mass" at our church on christmas eve is no more. we were going to avoid that mass this year anyway but i look forward to an uproar over it and i hope they go right after that pastor. perhaps that is mean but they have had this children's mass on christmas eve forever. and people are going to be pissed. should be interesting........

i enjoyed my thanksgiving break of laziness, back to work tomorrow. hopefully it will be a good week, i am so tired of conflict.