pitty party

I am throwing myself a pitty party.

I ache, just simply ache to go on vacation where money is no object, not that I am out to spend a ton - but can stay in a nice hotel, go to the beach or sight see, just get the heck out of here.

I want my useless brother to come and spend time with my mom. It has been 3 years since my dad has been gone and I am pretty much her support group. Amy lives too far away and I would like to keep it that way. But Frank - he is an arse. Calls rarely, comes over even less. Great sibling.

I am tire of the guilt of resenting the fact I am the ONLY ONE who does ANYTHING for my mother. I balance her checkbook, get her money from the bank, write her checks, take her places, listen to her when she needs to talk, or not. I should not feel this way about my mom. I love her, I treasure her, I value her and can't imagine life without her. But this is HARD. She isn't needy really, just technologically challenged - can't get her voicemail off the cell phone, and can't do email. She likes to cruise Facebook so I can't vent there.

Funny - my current status is "really truly would like to go on vacation". A friend said for me to go to my mom's because that is like a vacation and the food is always good. Not a vacation. Not right now. I need to GO AWAY.

Ugh.